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Be Consistent to Be Successful
by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

When you take a moment to think about your self-esteem, what comes to mind? STOP READING NOW! Take that moment...what does come to mind?

Do you immediately tell yourself what you do well? Do you remember all the good that you do? Terrific! Many folks have a tendency to first notice the places they have failed or are not doing enough. They think about what they have not done rather than what they have accomplished. They see their personal cups half-empty, rather than half-full.

How about you? If your first thoughts are positive, you have self-confidence. Want some more? There's a secret! Keep your promises to yourself. Yes, when you say that you will spend an hour alone, do it! When you decide on a food program, follow it! When you determine the best exercise for you, do it!

Recently I spoke with a woman who told me how well she felt after three weeks of paying attention to her health. She was thoughtful about her food choices, slept well and made time for her exercise of choice. She said that it made her feel good about herself. Of course it did!

When I asked her if she was continuing with that program, she said no. Why not? Somehow her overwhelming desire to keep millions of balls in the air and run herself ragged seemed more attractive. Isn't that an interesting conundrum?

This is an issue of self-esteem. You have to feel that you deserve to feel good in order to do what it takes. Sure, there are times when work or family need all your attention, however, once the crisis is over, return to taking care of yourself. If the crisis is too long, you'll run out of energy and begin to deplete all your reserves. This won't help your work or family, will it? It is also likely to cause you to resent the work, the demands or the people. Then, you might beat yourself up for feeling that when, actually, resentment is simply a sign that you are not giving yourself what you are giving to others. Notice this and take better care of yourself.

Be consistent with your self-care. This doesn't mean creating a rigid schedule. That only causes resistance. Be gentle, yet firm, with yourself. Exercise for thirty minutes three times a week. That's a great start...and it's do-able. Once you get that established, you'll probably feel like adding to it, so, take a walk, play a game or go for a swim. Set yourself up to win and enjoy it! You deserve it.

Consistency creates self-confidence. Go for it!

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, Founder & Director, The Optimize! Institute, Escondido, CA All rights reserved. Rhoberta Shaler, PhD may be contacted at

Expert facilitator, Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, makes it easier to talk about difficult things. As an international speaker, facilitator, author and coach, she works with organizations, executives & entrepreneurs who want to master the ‘people skills’ that grease the wheels of business & life. Visit her website for ezines, teleseminars, books & CDs, free articles, online community, and a half-hour free coaching consultation.


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